Do you have people in your life that you really wish would get there shit together? If you were in charge, you would know exactly how to fix their problems.
This tip will free you and them.
To start, become aware of how much time and energy you spend holding them in judgment. This is not only how you speak about them to others; but most importantly your thoughts and opinions. Thoughts are energy too. Just because they are not out loud, does not make them less harmful. In fact, they can become more detrimental.
For example, the person or situation you thought of when first reading this blog: Those moments are what you need to stay very aware of.
Your judgment is actually keeping them stuck. Your judgment is energy, your thoughts are energy. So at some level, you are responsible.
Let’s shift your thinking. Ask yourself…
“What about this person or situation is a reflection of something I dislike about myself?”
Often people will stop here, because this is where it gets hard. But, what if that is just your perception.? You have to take a look at yourself. We attract what we are, right? This person and/or situation is actually an opportunity to learn about yourself and possible heal.
Ok, so now what? I feel horrible and it’s all about me….
After awareness, you have to take responsibility. Responsibly is not just going through the motions and simply stating:
“Ok, I take responsibly.”
It is accepting and remaining open to the possibility. So you may say,
“I take responsibility for having judgment around __________ and I am open to learning how this is all for me.”
It is not going to be a quick fix, but it will be a lasting one. What you actually wish for this person, will begin to show up.
So the shift is not major, it’s simple. The work is remaining aware and being consistent with reframing your thoughts and words. Just this simple awareness is going to be helping the one you love more than you can even imagine.
Exercise to Release Judgment:
Take a moment and get silent. Close your eyes and in your minds eye: sit across from the person that you wish to change. See your reflection in their presence. Imagine placing your hands out in front of you and holding their hands. Let healing light surround the both of you. In your mind or out loud, let them know that you send them forward. Removing all the want to “fix” them.
A simple mantra that I use multiple times a day whenever I am among people is:
“I am love through everyone I see before me.”
(Source: I am the Word, by Paul Selig)
This is a wonderful practice that starts shifting the brain. When you get it situations where you would typical judge, you will start to see them/the situation in love.
No shaming and blaming.
You didn’t know any better, you were only trying to help. Now that you know better, you will do better.