Text Me

Nomad Way

Nomad Way


V’s Nomadic Journey

A little over three years ago, I got the opportunity to start the process of what in retrospect was uprooting and unraveling my entire identity. I moved out of my home and officially took my business on the road. I had always envisioned and set it up to be virtual. In October of 2016 my roommate’s room flooded. I had been feeling a change coming, but could not put my finger on the way. It had been five years that I had been living in this particular home and all was good. I always had the desire to live somewhere other than the Midwest, but did not have a place I felt called to go. It did occur to me a time or two that maybe I could just throw a dart at a dart board, but soon I found out that that exercise seemed too limiting.

When the room flooded, it created a major ripple for us. Little did I know this was the birthplace of what was to come. We were given the offer to move out without consequences. I had a trip coming up with plans to be out of the country all of November 2016. So when we decided to move, it felt really right to hold off getting another place. My parents happen to be in the transportation business, so I called my mom and asked her if she would be willing to make the 3 hour trip with trailer in tow to help me pack my things. She agreed, and within a week, I had packed or donated everything and was ready to set sail. I literally boarded a ship that set sail the day of the elections results that rocked America. Eventually an entire year passed, and with no home in sight, I unloaded the trailer that was storing my things. Officially leaving behind the majority of my physical belongings.

I had maintained an office space up until this point and kept it 1 year into my nomad journey; it still gave me a grounded feeling in Minneapolis and was enabling my “established” thought pattern that a physical space was required for me to be successful. When I got rid of the majority of the belongings in the trailer, I exited out of my physical office space lease.

Eventually the excitement of being luxury homeless wore off and this paralyzing discomfort that came with not having a home was felt in every cell of my body. Avoiding this discomfort meant that there was still hope that a home and miracle man were going to run into me on my path and resolve everything. Not avoiding this meant that I got to completely unearth and unravel all the programming I was born with and accepted about home, family, relationships and ‘societal think’.

So it began, my quest to find a home. At the 2 year mark, after completing my first 4 month Midwest Sit where I first explored healing my inner child, in my parents basement. It seemed timely that I could go off now and explore/wander on my own to find my home. After 2 years of travel and all the places and temporary stays, I packed my new SUV with my few belongings and traveled west to Los Angeles. L.A. was going to be the place that I grounded for a year and committed to another “home”.

Little did I know then, that what was actually out in front of me was the path to take me the deepest I had gone yet. I arrived in California at the end of August, and took the month of September to find the perfect place. I made many well intentioned attempts to find a home, even attracting the exact home style and amenities that I desired. The only issue was that nothing was actually sticking. One week in particular while I was viewing rental properties, I got three parking tickets at three different locations. This woke me up to start seeing all the signs and the “wading through liquid cement” like-energy I felt.

Early October I had a speaking engagement in New York. As that date was approaching quicker and quicker with no home in sight, I started to think about plan B. Find a place to park your car, head to New York, hit the reset button, come back and start again fresh. So off I went to speak in New York. I had been so busy trying to find a “home” that I didn’t even realize the caliber of the event I had been invited to speak at. Slowly over the course of the first couple days in New York, I started to pull my head out of the sand and see all the flowing synchronicities again. For example, the day before the event, I had to run some errands to gather equipment for the event. Then I had to drop it at the venue and stay for a meet and greet with other speakers. On my way home that night, I grabbed a meal with a friend across from the event venue. Afterwards I ordered a Lyft to take me back to my accommodation. I got in the Lyft and it didn’t drive even three blocks before letting me out. I was so confused, “I am here?” I was speaking just blocks away from where I was staying.

The trip continued to align. I met a host of new people. Was offered to participate in a couple other events and a photo shoot was even prepared with no cost associated. I was getting the hint, my control was not working. I felt back in the flow … “this is how my life goes!” I decided to extend my stay in New York. I offered to pack up the home of my friend, where I was staying during my time in New York. She too was embarking on a similar nomadic journey. In our back and forth discussion, I recalled that Israel was on my list of places to travel in 2018. It was now mid-October, with only 2 months left of the year. Within 24 hours, it was decided that I indeed was packing up her home, heading back to L.A. to get my car, drive it back to the Midwest, and taking off for Israel November 5, 2018. So in fact, I did have a calling to a “home”. Though this one did not have four walls and a roof. Instead, I was being taken HOME to the Holy Land.

I was raised Catholic and have always been deeply spiritual. So now at the age of 32, I was getting the opportunity to go to the Middle East to have a ‘sit and meditate’ at all the places I had heard and read about growing up in a 12 year Catholic education. Quickly, this idea of a home in L.A. felt like such a mute point and idea of the past. I felt aligned again, back in my strong spirit of knowing ‘I am always exactly where I need to be’.

A one month stint in the Middle East wasn’t going to cut it. So after spending some time in Spain, February 2019, I went back to Israel for the month of March. It wasn’t until toward the end of the summer, as I was coming up on my 3 year anniversary of being nomadic, that I actually started to enjoy the journey. The deep dive HOME TO ME, and then getting good and comfortable being uncomfortable. This is what allowed me to strip away all the programs I consciously and unconsciously had been subscribed to. These programs were determined and had shaped my thoughts and reality. They held the floor and ceiling of success. They were the lens in which I attracted my home, family and relationships. It was at this awakened moment where I realized the models of relationships I held on a pedestal were nothing I would ever be nor desire. As those walls/programs came crumbling down, my health and dedication to ‘the self’ was more important than ever. I began rebuilding from the authentic truth of me.

It is at the 3 year and 4 month mark that I write this.

I am an experienced based learner and teacher.

I now fully understand where I was being guided; and how I could not know the details of where I was headed. I had requests moment by moment that I would have never agreed to if I was allowed to know beforehand. Not knowing is the magic of life.

With the fear stripped away, I now understand that it is better that I could have even imagined. I go forward in grounded grace. Trusting the earth below my feet, and my always connection to the pure skys. What was once a chore is now a daily way of life. Feeling connected is second nature, like how we stay in constant breath or the innate beat of the heart.

We are always taken care of, it just takes some awareness and deep desire to strip away what is keeping us from being in the flow.

Follow @vanessafeils and get #involvedwithv !
[elfsight_instagram_feed id="1"]